Naxals Blog (Most Humorous)

Funny Kids

2008-08-22T10:19:00.001-07:00

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had phoned in sick one
day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the
Employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

"Hello?"

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy
there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss
asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked,
"May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Mummy and Daddy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the
earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly aprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the
hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they
searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle:

Deadlock.... Enjoy the story!

2008-05-15T09:50:00.000-07:00

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.

Secretary made call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband made call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so let’s spend the week together.

Secret lover made call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: I have work for a week, so you need not come for class.

Small boy made call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don't have classes 'coz my teacher is busy. Let’s spend the week together.

Grandpa (the 1st boss ;) made call to his secretary: This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.

Secretary made call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we cancelled our trip.

Husband made call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together; my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover made call to small boy whom she is giving private tution: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy made call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I can't give you company.

Grandpa made call to his secretary: Don't worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement

Confused Mathematician

2008-04-23T00:10:00.000-07:00

Check De India- Times of India

2007-12-13T21:19:00.000-08:00

Ostrich and the Man- Very Funny!

2007-12-13T09:56:00.001-08:00

One day a man and an ostrich walked into a restaurant. Plesently a waitress asks for their orders. The man says hamburger, fries and a coke. The ostrich says I'll have the same.

Later the waitress says that will be £6.40 sir. The man puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out the exact change.

The next day the same thing and the man orders hamburger, fries and coke.

The ostrich orders the same.

This becomes a routine and then one day when ask what he would have the man Says well this is Friday so I have steak, baked potato and salad. The ostrich said I will have the same.

Later the waitress says that will be £12.42 sir and the man again pulls out the exact change.

After a while the waitress needed to satisfy her curiosity and asked the man how he managed to always have the correct money.

Well said the man a few years ago I was clearing out the attic and discovered an old lamp. I rubbed it clean and a Genie appeared and granted me two wishes. My first wish was that I would always have the right amount of money.

The waitress said that was very sensible as he would never run short of money and that most people would have asked for a million dollars.

Then she asked what's with the ostrich?

Well, said the man, my second wish was for a tall chick with nice long legs and who would agree with everything I say

Easy Multiplications with hands/fingers

2007-12-08T18:16:00.000-08:00

Math Trick For Your Fingers - Easy Multiplication - The most amazing bloopers are here

The Cork Trick

2007-12-08T18:14:00.001-08:00

The Cork Trick New Solution - Funny blooper videos are here

World's most amazing Advertisement

2007-12-08T17:54:00.000-08:00

BCCI has announced Rs 100,000 to anyone who can help them find out whose HAND it was...

2007-12-06T19:52:00.000-08:00

BCCI has announced Rs 100,000 to anyone who can help them find out whose HAND it was...

Try your luck!!

Nokia Phones- Manufacturing Location, Quality of Cell Phone

2007-09-19T06:50:00.000-07:00

This is for Nokia Only:

Very Informative mail for you please don't forget to forward.Would you like to know if your mobile is original or not ?????

Press the following on your mobile *#06# and the-international mobileequipment identity number appears.

Then check the 7th and 8th numbers:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7th 8th 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Phone serial no. x x x x x x ? ? x x x x x x x

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 0 , 2 or 2 , 0 this means your cellphone was assembled in Emirates which is very Bad quality
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 0 , 8 or 8 , 0 this means your cellphone was manufactured in Germany which is fair quality
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 0, 1 or 1, 0 this means your cellphone was manufactured in Finland which is very Good
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 0 , 0 this means your cell phone wasmanufactured in original factory which is the best Mobile Quality
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 1 , 3 this means your cell phone wasassembled in Azerbaijan which is very Bad quality and also dangerous foryour health

Sardar Again... This time he is different!

2007-09-04T07:11:00.000-07:00

There was once a competition involving three gruelling tests. The participants had to do the following in immediate succession:

1.) Drink five bottles of hard whiskey in one go
2) Enter a room where there was a starving lion and pluck out its eyes with bare hands.
3) And then satisfy a babe to her full satisfaction.

Many people bravely tried their hands (or should I say mouths) at it. Few could get beyond the first stage. And the inebriated few who managed it, got promptly eaten up by the starving lion. There was none who could read the third stage. And then, one fine day, Santa Singh walked into the contest. Five bottles of whiskey were nothing for him. He emptied five bottles in five gulps. Then he said, " Bhale change hai hum, thagde hai. Bathao, lion kahan hai." When shown the room, he coolly walked in. There was no hint of fear on his face, but rather the cool confidence of a person who knew he could do it.

Sounds of a mammoth fight came from the room. Screams of the Sardar and growls of the lion were intermingled. Thumps and thuds which shook the very earth ensued. All of a sudden there was a piercing, heart-rending roar from the Lion. The audience waited with bated breath, their hair stood on end. And then, as suddenly as it had begun, the titanic roar stopped. An eerie silence prevailed.

As the audience watched, with eyes popping out, the door of the room opened, and out came the Sardar. Badly bruised, with blood streaming from his face, hands and legs, he stumbled out - victorious, nevertheless. His face had the glow of satisfaction of an emperor who had just won a battle.
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And then he asked, "Where is the woman whose eyes I have to pluck out?

Laloo Yadav again

2007-08-30T12:43:00.000-07:00

Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were
travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three
of them died.

Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.

He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN.

But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to
HELL.

Laloo is not at all happy with this decision.

He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the
three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all
misused public positions, etc.

Then why the differential treatment?

He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation
before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or
pre-conceived notions.

Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an
English test.

PVNR is asked to spell " INDIA " and he does it correctly.

Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes.

It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ".

Laloo protests that he doesn't know English.

He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and
thus forced to fail with false intent.

Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another
chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi wou ld
provide an equal platform for all three).

PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily an
passes.

Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.

Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....."

Tough one. He fails again.

Laloo is extremely unhappy.

Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now
requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in hist ory

Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not
take any more tests.

PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence ?" He replied "1947"
and passed.

Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence
struggle?"

He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or
200,000 or 300,000.

Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.

It's Laloo's turn now.
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Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who
died in the struggle.

Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.

Moral of the story
IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE
IS NO ESCAPE

The Corn Story

2007-08-30T12:32:00.000-07:00

There was a farmer who grew superior quality and award-winning CORN.Each year he entered his CORN in the state fair where it won honour andprizes.Once a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learnt somethinginteresting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that thefarmer shared his seed corn with his neighbours'."How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbourswhen they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" thereporter asked."Why sir, "said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollenfrom the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If myneighbours grow inferior, sub-standard and poor quality corn,cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I amto grow good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn."The farmer gave a superb insight into the connectedness of life. Hiscorn cannot improve unless his neighbour's corn also improves. So it isin the other dimensions! Those who choose to be at harmony must helptheir neighbours and colleagues to be at peace. Those who choose to livewell must help others to live well.Success does not happen in isolation. It is very often a participativeand collective ocess

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If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples, thenyou and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and Ihave an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have twoideas

God is missing... Award Winning Joke

2007-08-16T07:01:00.000-07:00

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are extremely mischievous.
They are alwaysgetting into trouble and their parents know
all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two
boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a
preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children,
so she asked if he would speak with her boys.

Thepreacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.

So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning,
with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the
younger boy down and asked him sternly,

"Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response,
sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even
sterner tone, "Where is God?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

The preacher raised his voice even more and shook
his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,
"Where is God?!"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran
directly home and dove into his closet, slamming
the door behind him.When his older brother
found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We
are in BIG trouble this time.

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("I really LOVED reading next line again and again")

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GOD is missing, and they think we did it!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

Top Rajnikant Facts Published

2007-08-09T08:04:00.000-07:00

* There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.
* Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
* Rajnikant counted to infinity - twice.
* When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
* Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
* Rajnikant doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
* Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
* Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
* There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
* Rajnikant's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
* Rajnikant can divide by zero.
* Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant turnaround kick.
* When taking the GRE, write "Rajnikant" for every answer. You will score over 1600.
* Rajnikant has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
* Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
* Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Rajnikant"
* If you Google search "Rajnikant getting kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
* Rajnikant can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
* Rajnikant doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
* It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
* The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
* Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
* Thousands of years ago Rajnikant came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.

Old but wonderful PJs - Most Humorous

2007-08-07T07:04:00.000-07:00

In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, andthe water level of the pond increases. How?.................

Ans: All the other 9 fish are crying!!

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One day a man is sitting in the jungle under a tree and a ‘sparrow'

sits on his shoulder, and the man dies. Why ?

Ans: Because ‘sparrow' was the name of an elephant.

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10 Ants are walking on a road. 9 are black. 1 is white. Why ?

Ans: One of them is a widow

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Srinath gives a Pepsi bottle to Kumble And Kumble gives it to Sehwag.Why ?

Ans: Because Sehwag is the Opener.

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Hare and Tortoise appear for IIT. Hare gets 95% and Tortoise gets84%.
Tortoise gets into IIT and the Hare does not. How?

Ans: Sports Quota
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Once an Auto rickshaw driver goes into NO ENTRY.

The Police doesnot catch him. Why?

Ans. Because he was walking.
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What wud u call a Gal who always pushes her father ....?

Ans: Push pa.

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What will you call a person who is departing from India?

Ans: Hindustan Lever

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What is the Center of Gravity?

Ans: its V .............. the center of "gra V ity.

Engineer Vs MBA - Humorous jokes!

2007-08-07T06:49:00.000-07:00

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a
competition organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian......
An MBA and an Engineer go on a camping trip,
set up their tent, and fall asleep.
Some hours later, the Engineer wakes his MBA friend.
"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" The MBA ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Economically there are mass scales of stars in the sky.
So "Economy of Scale " would be the ideal strategy in that market.
Strategically such market would be a volume driven market
Financially it would be a low margin market.
From HR point of view we would require huge manpower
What does it tell you?"

The Engineer is silent for a moment, then speaks.

"Practically"
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"Someone has stolen our TENT"

Cellular Service providers in India in your life!!

2007-08-03T08:53:00.000-07:00

Life before marriage is AIRTEL " u can express ur self ".

During honeymoon is RELIANCE- " Always get in Touch ".

After Honeymoon is HUTCH " Wherever u go ur wife network follows".

After one year Life is IDEA " ur wife can change ur life ".

After 10 years Life is BSNL " Subscriber is not reachable "?????????

Professor Joke- legal and logical question by student!

2007-08-02T13:22:00.000-07:00

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."

Intelligent Laloo Yadav....

2007-08-01T06:45:00.000-07:00

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one personcould go, and he would never return to Earth.The first applicant, an American engineer, was asked how much he wantedto be paid for going."A million dollars", he answered, "because I wish to donate it toM.I.T."The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question. Heasked for two million dollars. "I wish to give a million to my family,he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement ofmedicalresearch."The last applicant was an Indian politician (Laloo Yadav). When askedhow much money he wanted, He whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Threemilliondollars." "Why so much more than the others?" the interviewerasked. The Indian Politician replied, "$1 million is for you, I'll keep$1 million, andwe'll give the American engineer $1 million and send himto Mars."

Who is the BEST - Infosys, Wipro or TCS?

2007-08-01T06:42:00.000-07:00

Infosys vs Wipro Vs TCS

One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and onefrom TCS, went out for a walk. "Why don't we prove who is the best amongourselves?" Why not, said the other two.
The Infosian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh,works for the best firm". Being a pure logical strategist, the personfrom TCS tried to make the monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkeystayed still. As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried tomake funny gestures... No good, the monkey stayed put... Now, comes theInfosian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to be, hewhispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out laughing athim.. The other two were astonished.

So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take another test. Let's make thismonkey cry!!" So there they went again, applying the same methods asbefore. The TCS guy narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sadgestures, and they failed again... Then, the Infosian again whisperedsomething into the monkey's ear and oh! It started crying, patting theInfosian's shoulder! The other two just could not believe their eyes!

So the tcs guy said "OK, you've won twice. If you can win just this one,we will bow to you. Let's make this monkey run". And he barked at themonkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed where it was.. TheWipro guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the monkey- still No go.So...here comes Infosian, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. TheMonkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if it wasscared to death! The other two surrendered.
They said: "OK, we give up. You're the best among us, and you work forthe Best firm of the three. But please, please tell us your secret,"they begged him. "Well", said the Infosian, "The first time I made itlaugh, I told I work for Infosys. The next time, I told the monkey howmuch I get paid ...so it started crying. And then I told that I was herefor recruitment!!!

Disclaimer: Just for fun. Nothing against the companies mentioned above.

Clever Scrabble (REVISED) !!!...

2007-07-30T06:59:00.001-07:00

This has got to be one of the most clever E-mails I've received in awhile. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)!

FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE
When you rearrange the letters: FLIT ON CHEERING ANGEL

DILIP VENGSARKAR
When you rearrange the letters: SPARKLING DRIVE

BARA THEDA
When you rearrange the letters: ARAB DEATH

PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters: END IS A CAR SPIN

MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters: NICE SILKY WOMAN

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROO M
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

Bet your friends haven't seen this one!!! DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THIS

Woman Golfer - Intelligent woman.. (really??)!

2007-07-30T06:56:00.000-07:00

Woman Golfer A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in theworld.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in theworld. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'dlike a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down..
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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humor.

An Ex-Wife's Revenge

2007-07-30T06:37:00.000-07:00

An Ex-Wife's Revenge
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed. Air Fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad t he smell was, he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home....

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*including the curtain rods.

Cricket Joke

2007-07-27T07:39:00.000-07:00

Most cricketers, who are not comfortable in conversing in English, goPrepare for some standard questions that are asked from them whenCommentators chat with them during the awards ceremony.Inzamam was once asked a different question after Pakistan won the match,for which he was not prepared. He always had a standard response to thefirst question. But this time.....Question : Tony Greig: So Inzi, that's fantastic, your wife is pregnant for thesecond time!Answer : Inzamam: Bismillah-e-Rehman-e-Rahim! All credit goes to the boys. Everyonework hard for it, especially Afridi. It was tight situation when he wentin. Also Bob Woolmer keeping close watch on progress and givinginstructions. It's all team effort. Insha Allah, we all will work togetheras a team, put in big effort anddeliver good result all the time.Tony fainted

Some nice answers written in Exams

2007-07-27T07:38:00.001-07:00

These are answers, some students have written in their exams... sure U all will enjoy !!!

* A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
* The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
* When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire .
* Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
* Clouds are high flying fogs.
* I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
* Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.
* Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.
* Thunder is a rich source of loudness .
* "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
* "H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
* "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."
* "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
* "The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e,i, o and u."
* "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana ."
* "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa..."
* "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
* "To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow.

Understanding Engineers ...

2007-07-27T07:32:00.000-07:00

Understanding Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Three

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.""Hi, George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters who lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Four

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine.Finally, at the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and said, "This is where your problem is."The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1; Knowing where to put it $49,999. It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

Understanding Engineers - Take Five

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Take Six

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Seven

"Normal people .... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."

Understanding Engineers - Take Eight

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both.""Both?" they asked.Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

Understanding Engineers - Take Nine

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess; that I'll stay with you for a weekend and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"The engineer said, "Look. I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

Utlimately hilarious --- Black & white

2007-07-27T07:21:00.001-07:00

WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY???

2007-07-27T06:56:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago was my 35th birthday and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway.

I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday" and probably a present for me.

Forget "Happy Birthday", She didn't even say "Good Morning".

I thought, "Well, that's wives for you, the children will remember".

Children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.

I started to the office I was feeling pretty low.

As I walked into my office my secretary, Janet, said, "Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday."

And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon.

Then, Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know,
it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."

I said,! " That's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go." We went to lunch.

We didn't go where we normally go; we went out to the country to a little private place.

We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day.

We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I said, "No, I guess not."

She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment,

she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go change."

"Sure," I excitedly replied. I start getting excited & i thought today is my lucky day.

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes,

she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by..........

my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing "Happy Birthday".

And there I sat... on the couch... with out my cloths on....!!!!!!

How Communication "Twists" in a company...

2007-07-27T06:47:00.000-07:00

Engineer to Team Leader:

"We can't do this proposed project. It will involve a major design change
and no one in our team knows the design of this system. And above that, no
body in our company knows the formulation in which this application has
been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can't. If you
ask my personal opinion, the company should never take these type of
projects."

Team Leader to Project Manager :

"This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have any
staff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is
unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take
this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project
of this nature."

Project Manager to General Manager :
This project involves a design change in the system and we don't have much
experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are
appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to
do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it."

General Manager to Vice President :

"This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have
worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So
they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this
project, but with caution."

Vice President to CEO :

"This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in
remodeling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the
necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some
people have already given in house training in this area to other staff
members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us
under any circumstances."

CEO to Client :

"This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have
executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me
when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing
this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this
project successfully and well within the given time frame.

END.

Confidence ... Trust and Hope

2007-07-26T06:42:00.000-07:00

Confidence ... Trust.... and Hope...

CONFIDENCE:
Once all village people
decided to pray for rain. On
the day of prayer all people
gathered and only one boy came
with an umbrella......
that's Confidence...

TRUST:
Trust should be like the
feeling of a one year old baby
when you throw him in the air;
he laughs.....because he knows
you will catch him........
That's Trust............

HOPE:

Every night we go to bed, we
have no assurance to get up
alive in the next morning but
still we have plans for the
coming day..........
that's Hope..........

Heart Attack, Cold Drinks after meal, health tips

2007-07-17T07:19:00.000-07:00

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.
A serious note about heart attacks - You should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line.
You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.
A cardiologist says if everyone who reads this message sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life. Read this & Send the link to a friend. It could save a life. So, please be a true friend and send this article to all your friends you care about.

Husband and Wife - Hearing problem!

2007-07-12T07:04:00.000-07:00

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he
thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach
her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor
told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to
give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from
her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears
you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a
response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was
in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see
what happens."
Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his
wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his

wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so,

He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's
for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

;

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;

;

"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

Moral of the story:
The problem may not be with the other one as we always think,
could be very much within us..!

Indian Mother ...brilliant

2007-07-12T07:01:00.000-07:00

Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl
roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't
help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was. She had long been
suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made
her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than
met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates." About a
week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother came to
dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose
she took it, do you?" Kumar said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her,
jus to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm
not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate.. But the fact remains
that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read

Dear Son:

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that
you 'do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was
sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now
under the pillow...

Love,

Mom.

Lesson of the day:
Don't Lie to Your Mother...........especially if she is Indian !

We all believe that we are In the Line of Fire everyday.

2007-07-11T08:53:00.000-07:00

We all believe that we are In the Line of Fire everyday.

Vivek Pradhan was not a happy man. Even the plush comfort of the air-conditioned compartment of the Shatabdi express could not cool his frayed nerves. He was the Project Manager and still not entitled to air travel. It was not the prestige he sought, he had tried to reason with the admin person, it was the savings in time. As PM, he had so many things to do. He opened his case and took out the laptop, determined to put the time to some good use.

"Are you from the software industry sir," the man beside him was staring appreciatively at the laptop.

Vivek glanced briefly and mumbled in affirmation, handling the laptop now with exaggerated care and importance as if it were an expensive car.

"You people have brought so much advancement to the country sir. Today everything is getting computerized."

"Thanks," smiled Vivek, turning around to give the man a look.

He always found it difficult to resist appreciation. The man was young and stocky like a sportsman. He looked simple and strangely out of place in that little lap of luxury like a small town boy in a prep school. He probably was a railway sportsman making the most of his free traveling pass.

"You people always amaze me," the man continued, "You sit in an office and write something on a computer and it does so many big things outside."

Vivek smiled deprecatingly. Naivety demanded reasoning not anger. "It is not as simple as that my friend. It is not just a question of writing a few lines. There is a lot of process that goes behind it." For a moment, he was tempted to explain the entire Software Development Lifecycle but restrained himself to a single statement. "It is complex, very complex."

"It has to be. No wonder you people are so highly paid," came the reply.

This was not turning out as Vivek had thought. A hint of belligerence came into his so far affable, persuasive tone.

"Everyone just sees the money. No one sees the amount of hard work we have to put in.Indians have such a narrow concept of hard work. Just because we sit in an air-conditioned office does not mean our brows do not sweat. You exercise the muscle; we exercise the mind and believe me that is no less taxing."

He had the man where he wanted him and it was time to drive home the point.

"Let me give you an example. Take this train. The entire railway reservation system is computerized. You can book a train ticket between any two stations from any of the hundreds of computerized booking centres across the country. Thousands of transactions accessing a single database, at a time concurrency; data integrity, locking, data security. Do you understand
the complexity in designing and coding such a system?"

The man was stuck with amazement, like a child at a planetarium. This was something big and beyond his imagination. " You design and code such things."

"I used to," Vivek paused for effect, "But now I am the Project Manager,"

"Oh!" sighed the man, as if the storm had passed over, "so your life is easy now."

It was like being told the fire was better than the frying pan. The man had to be given a feel of the heat.

"Oh come on, does life ever get easy as you go up the ladder. Responsibility only brings more work. Design and coding! That is the easier part. Now I do not do it, but I am responsible for it and believe me, that is far more stressful. My job is to get the work done in time and with the highest quality. To tell you about the pressures, there is the customer at one end always changing his requirements, the user wanting something else and your boss always expecting you to have finished it yesterday."

Vivek paused in his diatribe, his belligerence fading with self-realisation. What he had said, was not merely the outburst of a wronged man, it was the truth. And one need not get angry while defending the truth. "My friend," he concluded triumphantly, "you don't know what it is to be in the line of fire."

The man sat back in his chair, his eyes closed as if in realization. When he spoke after sometime, it was with a calm certainty that surprised Vivek.

" I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire," He was staring blankly as if no passenger, no train existed, just a vast expanse of time.

"There were 30 of us when we were ordered to capture Point 4875 in the cover of the night. The enemy was firing from the top. There was no knowing where the next bullet was going to come from and for whom. In the morning when we finally hoisted the tricolour at the top only 4 of us were alive."

"You are a..."

"I am Subedar Sushant from the 13 J&K Rifles on duty at Peak 4875 in Kargil. They tell me I have completed my term and can opt for a land assignment. But tell me sir, can one give up duty just because it makes life easier. On the dawn of that capture, one of my colleagues lay injured in the snow, open to enemy fire while we were hiding behind a bunker. It was my job to go and fetch that soldier to safety."
"But my captain refused me permission and went ahead himself. He said that the first pledge he had taken as a Gentleman Cadet was to put the safety and welfare of the nation foremost followed by the safety and welfare of the men he commanded."
"His own personal safety came last, always and every time. He was killed as he shielded that soldier into the bunker. Every morning now, as I stand guard I can see him taking all those bullets, which were actually meant for me. I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire."

Vivek looked at him in disbelief not sure of his reply. Abruptly he switched off the laptop. It seemed trivial, even insulting to edit a word document in the presence of a man for whom valour and duty was a daily part of life; a valour and sense of duty which he had so far attributed only to epical heroes.

The train slowed down as it pulled into the station and Subedar Sushant picked up his bags to alight.

"It was nice meeting you sir! "

Vivek fumbled with the handshake. This hand had climbed mountains, pressed the trigger, and hoisted the tricolour. Suddenly as if by impulse,he stood at attention and his right hand went up in an impromptu salute. It was the least he felt he could do for the country.

PS: The incident he narrates during the capture of Peak 4875 is a true-life incident during the Kargil war. Capt. Batra sacrificed his life while trying to save one of the men he commanded, as victory was within sight. For this and his various other acts of bravery he was awarded the Param Vir Chakra the nation's highest military award.

Live humbly, there are great people around us to learn from!

Great Sardar!

2007-07-09T10:19:00.000-07:00

"Hello friends!! I came across a mail on the following incident which I wish to share with you. It has had a deep impact on my thinking.

In the diwali vacation, Jayant and his couple of friends had gone to Delhi.
They rented a taxi for local sight-seeing. The driver was an old Sardar, and boys being boys, Jayant and his pals began cracking Sardarji jokes, just to insinuate the old man.

But to their surprise, the fellow remained unperturbed.

At the end of the sight-seeing, they paid up the hire-charges. The Sardar returned the change. Moreover, he gave each one of them one rupee extra and said, (in Hindi, of course),
''Son, since morning you have been telling Sardarji jokes. I listened to them all and let me tell you, some of them were in a very bad taste. Still, I don't mind coz I know that you are young blood and are yet to see the world. But I have just one request. Here I am giving you one rupee each. Give it to the first Sardar beggar that you come across in this city."
Jayant continued," That one rupee coin is still with me. I couldn't find a single Sardar begging on the streets of Delhi."
Friends, we all love sardar jokes. But the fact of matter is that Sikhs are one of the most prosperous and diversified communities in the world. The secret behind their universal success, according to me, is their willingness to do any job with utmost dedication. A Sardar will drive a truck or set up a roadside garage or a dhaba, but he will never beg on the streets.

ONE BEDROOM FLAT... & One Extra ...Touching Story

2007-07-04T10:40:00.000-07:00

ONE BEDROOM FLAT... & One Extra ...

As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software Engineer
and joined a company based in USA , the land of braves and opportunity. When
I arrived in the USA , it was as if a dream had come true. Here at last I
was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this
country for about five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India .

My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only
asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.

I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and
lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents
every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days
of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my
ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually
enjoying shopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone
then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate. In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA , after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA .

My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started
feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week
sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing. After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children. Every year I decide to go to India . But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India . The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.

After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for a
suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA . My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India . My 2 children and I returned to USAafter promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA . I decided that had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India . I had just enough money to buy a decent 2-bedroom flat in a well-developed locality. Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this? My father, even after staying in India , had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more.

I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.

Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned
cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me.

Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be
performing my last rights, God Bless them. But the question still remains
'was all this worth it?'

Indian men and Women stranded on a deserted island...

2007-07-03T11:21:00.000-07:00

A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a
beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:

A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman

B. 2 French men and 1 French woman

C. 2 German men and 1 German woman

D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman

E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman

F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman

G. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman

What a Crazy coincidence! One month later, on various parts of the island,

the following was observed:

A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.

C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they spend time

with the German woman.

D. The two Greek men are happy together, and the Greek woman is cooking &

cleaning for them.

E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long look at

the Polish woman, and they started swimming.

F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island trying to

sell them the Mexican woman.

G. What happened to the Indians????

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The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the

Indian woman!

TEARS…

2007-07-03T11:13:00.000-07:00

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee,
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"
"Yes! I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued.
"Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said,
'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,
"I would have been released today!"

Office humour - Cartoons-3

2007-06-29T12:47:00.000-07:00

Office humour - Cartoons-2

2007-06-29T12:42:00.000-07:00

Office humour - Cartoons-1

2007-06-29T12:29:00.000-07:00

Banned Drugs in India and Pakistan

2007-06-04T07:01:00.000-07:00

DANGEROUS DRUGS HAVE BEEN GLOBALLY DISCARDED BUT ARE AVAILABLE IN INDIAAND PAKISTAN .

The most common ones are D cold, action 500 & Limuloid.

ANALGIN:This is a pain-killer.
Reason for ban: Bone marrow depression.
Brand name: Novalgin
____________________________________________
CISAPRIDE:Acidity, constipation.
Reason for ban : irregular heartbeat
Brand name : Ciza, Syspride
____________________________________________
DROPERIDOL:Anti-depressant.
Reason for ban : Irregular heartbeat.
Brand name : Droperol
____________________________________________
FURAZOLIDONE:Antidiarrhoeal.
Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Furoxone, Lomofen
____________________________________________
NIMESULIDE:Painkiller, fever.
Reason for ban : Liver failure.
Brand name : Nise, Nimulid
_____________________________________________
NITROFURAZONE:Antibacterial cream.
Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Furacin
_____________________________________________
PHENOLPHTHALEIN:Laxative.
Reason for ban : Cancer.
Brand name : Agarol
_____________________________________________
PHENYLPROPANOLAMINE:cold and cough.
Reason for ban : stroke.
Brand name : D'cold, Vicks Action-500
_____________________________________________
OXYPHENBUTAZONE:Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug.
Reason for ban : Bone marrowdepression.
Brand name : Sioril
_____________________________________________
PIPERAZINE:Anti-worms.
Reason for ban : Nerve damage.
Brand name : Piperazine
____________________________________________
QUINIODOCHLOR:Anti-diarrhoeal.
Reason for ban : Damage to sight.
Brand name : Enteroquinol

And Pls go to a GOOD reputed Doctor......... !!!
Who really is GOOD andnot a Member of this Drug Company

Clinton and the Pope in Heaven ***

2007-06-01T08:28:00.000-07:00

Clinton and the Pope in Heaven ***

On the same day, the Pope and Bill Clinton died. There was a major screw up. By accident, Bill Clinton was sent to heaven, while the Pope was sent to hell.

IN HELL:

The Pope: Excuse me Satan, there must be a great deal of confusion. I have lived my life as a servant of the Lord. There must be a slight misunderstanding. I should be in heaven with God.
Satan: I can't believe they messed up again. There's no way you belong here. I'll contact heaven, but it's going to take 24 hours before we can fix it.
The Pope: Worry not, my son.
24 hours later:
Satan: Once again, we're sorry. You can leave now. Just make sure you tell Clinton to come here.
The Pope: Sure thing.

On the way to heaven, the Pope meets up with Clinton, half-way.

The Pope: There was a mix up. You have to meet with your destiny. I, being highly religious, would take the fall for you. But my final dream is to meet the Virgin Mary.
Bill Clinton: Thanks for the sympathy, but you're a day late.

STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Letters... S.T.R.

2007-05-30T09:42:00.000-07:00

My friend sent this to me and encouraged me to post it and spread the word. I agree. If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks. Please read:

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm , Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. It only takes a minute to read this... A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE

Remember the "3" steps, STR . Read and Learn! Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S * Ask the individual to SMILE .

T * Ask the person to TALK to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (eg "It is sunny out today").

R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS .

NOTE : Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke. If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 999/911 immediately! ! and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.

Old man's attitude

2007-05-25T11:22:00.000-07:00

AN OLD MAN
________________________________

An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato
garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped
him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and
mentioned his situation:

Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be
able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the
garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just
getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all
my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if
you weren't in prison.

Love, Dad

Shortly, the old man received this telegram:

"For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I
buried the GUNS!!"

At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police
officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any
guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what
happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad.. It's the
best I could do for you from here."

Moral:

NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO
SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART ----- THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN STOP
YOU FROM DOING IT ....

Ramayana if written by Bill Gates!

2007-05-24T12:17:00.000-07:00

Get DVSs from Amazon on Ramayana

Get Books from Amazon on Ramayana

Top 6 books on Ramayana:

The Ramayana, written over 2,000 years ago, never fails to capture our mind and spirit with its stunning stories and moral lessons. Its profound influence on Hinduism and Indian culture is everlasting. Reading and re-reading the Ramayana can be a rewarding experience for people of all ages at all times. Here’s a selection of transliterations and interpretations of this remarkable epic

1. "The Ramayana" by R. K. Narayan

In this ‘Shortened Modern Prose Version of the Indian Epic' from Penguin, master novelist RK Narayan, drawing inspiration from the work of the 11th century Tamil Poet Kamban, recreates the thrill of the original epic, which, he suggests, can be enjoyed for its psychological insight, spiritual depth, practical wisdom or just as a wonderful tale of deities and demons.

2. "A Tale of Gods and Demons: Ramayana" by R Prime

This illustrated version of Ramayana depicts the events of the epic, drawing on the traditional styles of Kangra, Kishangarh and Moghal art. Beautifully visualized by B. G. Sharma, the exciting adventures of Rama spring forth to life. It never fails to transport you to that golden era, and help you gain a rich experience.

3. "The Song of Rama" by Vanamali

The beautiful prose of this edition of Ramayana has the power to move you to tears and make you feel ecstatic. The spirituality beneath the story comes to surface and touches the reader with a certain sense of wonder just as the sage poet Valmiki’s Sanskrit couplets do.

4. "Ramayana" by Krishna Dharma
A novelized version of the Hindu classic, this retelling by Krishna Dharma, a Vaishnava priest and translator of Sanskrit writings, is meant for Western readers and serves well for academic purposes as well.

5. "Ramayana" by William Buck, S Triest (Illustrator)
Another illustrated retelling of the story of Rama in a length and manner suitable for the contemporary Western reader. Buck, who died in 1970 at the age of 37, preserves the spirit of the original, and narrates the story with "all the elan of a Tolkien."

6. "Arrow of the Blue-Skinned God" by Jonah Blank
This unique approach to the Ramayana is more than a mere retelling of the epic. It’s a cultural and political analysis of India from its mythological past to its mundane present. Retracing the footsteps of Rama across the subcontinent, its journalist-anthropologist author examines various aspects of the Hindu way of life, with insight and humor, while focusing on the epic’s narrative.

From http://hinduism.about.com/cs/epics/tp/aatpramayana.htm

Charles Chaplin Movies List (As an Actor)

2007-05-23T09:08:00.000-07:00

A Countess from Hong Kong (1967) .... An old steward
A King in New York (1957) .... King Shahdov
Limelight (1952) .... Calvero
Monsieur Verdoux (1947) .... Henri Verdoux
The Great Dictator (1940) .... Adenoid Hynkel (Dictator of Tomania)/A Jewish Barber
Modern Times (1936) (as Charlie Chaplin) .... A factory worker
City Lights (1931) (as Charlie Chaplin) .... A Tramp... aka City Lights: A Comedy Romance in Pantomime (USA: copyright title)
The Circus (1928) (as Charlie Chaplin) .... A Tramp
Camille (1926/II) .... Mike... aka The Fate of a Coquette (USA: subtitle)
The Gold Rush (1925) .... The Lone Prospector
A Woman of Paris: A Drama of Fate (1923) (uncredited) .... Porter
The Pilgrim (1923) .... The Pilgrim
Pay Day (1922/I) .... Laborer
Nice and Friendly (1922) .... Tramp
The Idle Class (1921) .... Tramp and Husband... aka Vanity Fair (USA)
The Nut (1921) (uncredited) .... Chaplin impersonator
The Kid (1921) .... Tramp
A Day's Pleasure (1919) .... Father... aka A Ford Story (USA)
Sunnyside (1919) .... Farm handyman
The Professor (1919) .... Professor Bosco

Great Collection from Amazon - Charlie Chaplin Movies/DVDs

Shoulder Arms (1918) .... Recruit
The Bond (1918) .... Charlie... aka Charlie Chaplin in a Liberty Loan Appeal
Triple Trouble (1918) .... The Janitor... aka Charlie's Triple Trouble (USA)
A Dog's Life (1918) .... Tramp
The Adventurer (1917/I) .... The Convict
The Immigrant (1917) .... Immigrant... aka A Modern Columbus (USA) ... aka Broke (USA: 8mm release title (short version)) ... aka Hello U.S.A. (USA) ... aka The New World (USA)
The Cure (1917) .... The Inebriate... aka The Water Cure (USA)
Easy Street (1917) .... The Derelict
The Rink (1916) .... A Waiter. Posing as Sir Cecil Seltzer... aka Rolling Around (USA) ... aka Waiter (USA)
Behind the Screen (1916) .... David (Goliath's assistant)... aka The Pride of Hollywood (USA)
The Pawnshop (1916) .... Pawnshop assistant... aka At the Sign of the Dollar (USA) ... aka High and Low Finance (USA)
The Count (1916) .... Tailor's apprentice... aka Almost a Gentleman (USA)
One A.M. (1916) .... Drunk... aka Solo (USA)
The Vagabond (1916) .... Street Musician... aka Gipsy Life (USA)
The Fireman (1916) .... Fireman... aka A Gallant Fireman (USA) ... aka The Fiery Circle (USA)
The Floorwalker (1916) .... Tramp... aka Shop (USA) ... aka The Store
Burlesque on Carmen (1916) .... Darn Hosiery... aka Charlie Chaplin's Burlesque on Carmen (USA: complete title)
Police (1916) .... Charlie, Convict 999... aka Charlie in the Police (USA) ... aka Charlie the Burglar ... aka Housebreaker
Burlesque on Carmen (1915) .... Darn Hosiery... aka Charlie Chaplin's Burlesque on Carmen (USA: complete title)
A Night in the Show (1915) .... Mr. Pest and Mr. Rowdy... aka A Night at the Show ... aka Charlie at the Show
Shanghaied (1915) .... Tramp... aka Charlie Shanghaied (USA) ... aka Charlie on the Ocean ... aka Charlie the Sailor
The Bank (1915) .... Charlie, a Janitor... aka Charlie Detective ... aka Charlie at the Bank ... aka Charlie in the Bank (USA)
A Woman (1915) .... Gentleman/'Nora Nettlerash'... aka Charlie the Perfect Lady (USA) ... aka The Perfect Lady
Work (1915) .... Izzy A. Wake's assistant... aka Charlie at Work ... aka Charlie the Decorator (USA) ... aka Only a Working Man ... aka The Paperhanger ... aka The Plumber
His Regeneration (1915) (uncredited) .... A customer
By the Sea (1915) .... Stroller... aka Charlie by the Sea (USA) ... aka Charlie's Day Out
The Tramp (1915) .... Tramp... aka Charlie on the Farm (USA) ... aka Charlie the Hobo ... aka Charlie the Tramp (USA)
A Jitney Elopement (1915) .... Suitor, the Fake Count... aka Charlie's Elopement ... aka Married in Haste
In the Park (1915) .... Charlie... aka Charlie in the Park ... aka Charlie on the Spree
The Champion (1915) .... Challenger... aka Battling Charlie ... aka Champion Charlie ... aka Charlie the Champion (USA)
A Night Out (1915/I) .... Reveller... aka Champagne Charlie ... aka Charlie's Drunken Daze (USA) ... aka Charlie's Night Out (USA) ... aka His Night Out (USA)
His New Job (1915) .... Film Extra... aka Charlie's New Job
His Prehistoric Past (1914) .... Weakchin... aka A Dream ... aka King Charlie ... aka The Caveman ... aka The Hula-Hula Dance (USA)
Getting Acquainted (1914) .... Mr. Sniffels... aka A Fair Exchange ... aka Exchange Is No Robbery ... aka Hello Everybody
Tillie's Punctured Romance (1914) .... Charlie, City Slicker... aka For the Love of Tillie ... aka Marie's Millions ... aka Tillie's Big Romance ... aka Tillie's Nightmare
His Trysting Place (1914) .... Clarence, the Husband... aka Family Home ... aka Family House ... aka His Trysting Places (USA) ... aka The Henpecked Spouse (USA) ... aka The Ladies' Man (USA) ... aka Very Much Married (USA)
His Musical Career (1914) .... Charlie, Piano Mover... aka Charlie as a Piano Mover (USA) ... aka Musical Tramps ... aka The Piano Movers
Gentlemen of Nerve (1914) .... Mr. Wow-Woe, Track Fanatic... aka Charlie at the Races ... aka Some Nerve
Dough and Dynamite (1914) .... Pierre, a Waiter... aka The Cook ... aka The Doughnut Designer ... aka The New Cook
Those Love Pangs (1914) .... Masher... aka Busted Hearts ... aka Oh, You Girls (USA) ... aka The Rival Mashers
The New Janitor (1914) .... Janitor... aka The Blundering Boob ... aka The New Porter ... aka The Porter
The Rounders (1914) .... Reveller... aka Going Down (USA) ... aka Oh, What a Night (USA) ... aka Revelry ... aka The Love Thief (USA) ... aka Tip, Tap, Toe (USA) ... aka Two of a Kind
His New Profession (1914) .... Charlie... aka Helping Himself ... aka The Good for Nothing
The Masquerader (1914/I) .... Film Actor/Beautiful Stranger... aka Putting One Over ... aka The Female ... aka The Female Impersonator (USA) ... aka The Perfumed Lady (USA) ... aka The Picnic (USA)
Recreation (1914) .... Tramp... aka Spring Fever
The Face on the Bar Room Floor (1914) .... Artist... aka The Ham Actor ... aka The Ham Artist
The Property Man (1914) .... The Property Man... aka Charlie on the Boards (USA) ... aka Getting His Goat ... aka Hits of the Past (USA) ... aka Props (USA) ... aka The Rustabout ... aka Vamping Venus
Laughing Gas (1914) .... Dentist's Assistant... aka Busy Little Dentist (USA) ... aka Down and Out ... aka Laffing Gas (USA) ... aka The Dentist ... aka Tuning His Ivories (USA)
Mabel's Married Life (1914) .... Mabel's Husband... aka The Squarehead ... aka When You're Married
Mabel's Busy Day (1914) .... Tipsy Nuisance... aka Charlie and the Sausages ... aka Hot Dog Charlie ... aka Hot Dogs ... aka Love and Lunch
The Knockout (1914) .... Referee... aka Counted Out ... aka The Pugilist
Her Friend the Bandit (1914) .... Bandit... aka A Thief Catcher ... aka Mabel's Flirtation
The Fatal Mallet (1914) .... Suitor... aka Hit Him Again ... aka The Pile Driver ... aka The Rival Suitors
A Busy Day (1914) .... Wife... aka Busy as Can Be (USA) ... aka Lady Charlie ... aka Militant Suffragette
Caught in the Rain (1914) .... Tipsy Hotel Guest... aka At It Again ... aka In the Park (USA: reissue title) ... aka Who Got Stung?
Caught in a Cabaret (1914) .... Waiter... aka Charlie the Waiter (USA) ... aka Faking with Society ... aka Jazz Waiter ... aka Prime Minister Charlie (USA) ... aka The Waiter
Twenty Minutes of Love (1914) .... Pickpocket... aka Cops and Watches ... aka He Loves Her So ... aka Love-Friend
Mabel at the Wheel (1914) .... Villain... aka A Hot Finish (USA) ... aka His Daredevil Queen
The Star Boarder (1914/II) .... The Star Boarder... aka In Love with His Landlady ... aka The Fatal Lantern (USA) ... aka The Hash-House Hero ... aka The Landlady's Pet (USA)
Cruel, Cruel Love (1914) .... Lord Helpus/Mr. Dovey... aka Lord Helpus
His Favorite Pastime (1914) .... Drunken masher... aka Charlie Is Thirsty (USA) ... aka Charlie's Reckless Fling (USA) ... aka The Bonehead ... aka The Reckless Fling (USA)
Tango Tangles (1914) .... Tipsy Dancer... aka Charlie's Recreation ... aka Music Hall
A Film Johnnie (1914) .... The Film Johnnie... aka Charlie at the Studio ... aka Charlie the Actor (USA) ... aka Film Johnny (UK) ... aka Million Dollar Job ... aka Movie Nut
Between Showers (1914) .... Masher... aka Charlie and the Umbrella ... aka In Wrong Thunder and Lightning (USA) ... aka The Flirts
Mabel's Strange Predicament (1914) .... Tramp... aka Hotel Mixup
Kid Auto Races at Venice (1914) .... Tramp... aka Kid's Auto Race ... aka The Children's Automobile Race ... aka The Pest (USA)
Making a Living (1914) .... Swindler... aka A Busted Johnny ... aka Doing His Best ... aka Take My Picture (USA) ... aka Troubles

Lion Hunt- Dare Shooting

2007-05-18T08:13:00.000-07:00

Great Capture of Lion Hunt and shooting!

Worth watching how the Lion atacked the group of people and how they escaped.

Great Books from Amazon on Hunting

Lion hunting tips - the hunt

In most countries Lion are hunted with baiting, with the hunter lying in ambush from a constructed blind about 30-50 yards off. The procedure is to first hunt bait, usually buffalo, hippo, zebra or any other large trophy taken, and to then hang or fasten the carcass to a tree in a likely area where Lion would occur. The bait is then checked every day until there has been a hit or strike. A large spoor or long hairs with black tips on the bait signal the building of a blind, on the ground or in a tree nearby where the hunter and PH will lie in wait usually from mid-afternoon or early mornings. The time spent in the blind waiting for the Lion is one of the most interesting and exciting of the chase. Here you have to remain absolutely still and silent, with other game and often the Lion passing so close to you, you can hear them breath.

The best shot to take is on the shoulder blades at the vital organs. Due to the mane, head and neck shots are not recommended. Sometimes the "Texas heart shot" is very effective as lion are not heavy bodied.

It is illegal to hunt with the aid of a light in most countries. In Zimbabwe, South Africa and Namibia special permits can be obtained.

Lion hunting tips - the calibre
Lion are soft-skinned animals not requiring large bore calibres and solids. Anything from a .300 Magnum upwards with a heavy grain soft-nosed bullet is more than enough and shots are never at a great distance.

Lion hunting tips - the trophy
To the hunter, the ultimate quarry is a large maned lion even though the SCI Measurement is based upon the size of the skull. Mane does vary according to habitat with lion in open savannah or desert-like regions growing larger manes than those found in thicker bush. Often large-bodied Lion do not sport a mane of significance and hunters often mistakenly keep trying until they eventually get "The King".

Manual Uribe Garza - World's fattest man!

2007-05-17T08:53:00.000-07:00

Manuel Uribe Garza, 41, of Monterrey, thought to be the world's fattest man, could soon undergo weight-loss surgery in Italy, according to a report from the Italian news service Ansa. A mechanic from northern Mexico (state of Nuevo León), Garza has weighed as much as 561 Kilograms (1,235 pounds) but recently lost weight with the help of doctors.

Italian surgeon Giancarlo DeBernardinis told Agence France-Presse, "We will hold a meeting in the coming days to work out the details of the hospitalization and to prepare the operating theater and the appropriate surgical tools."

Uribe drew worldwide attention when he appeared on the Televisa television network in January and drew the attention of doctor Giancarlo De Bernardinis, who visited Mexico with a medical team to examine Uribe in March.

The operation would last four to five hours and would likely require Uribe to spend one month in Italy. "He will always be heavier than normal but certainly not like he is now ... We would be satisfied even if he weighed 330 lbs. after two years," Bernardinis said.
For the past five years, Uribe has been bedridden. He keeps a television and a computer he uses to update his Web site near his iron bed.

His one connection to the outside world is his computer, and he regularly surfs the Internet. Since his wife left him, unable to cope with the burden, Manuel has lived at home with his mother and sent out endless pleas for help in his home country. His plight has even touched sympathisers in this country.

"People think that I can eat a whole cow, but it's not just overeating, it's also a hormonal problem, I can't walk. I can't leave my bed and I'm trying to reduce my weight a bit right now so I can be in the right condition for the operation." Uribe said

NUMBER LETTER OF TEN WORDS-- that must become your choice

2007-05-17T07:41:00.000-07:00

King Arthur & the witch - Really wonderful

2007-05-11T13:50:00.000-07:00

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom an! d began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus: What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life. Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened? The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night? Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments? What would YOU do? What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY? Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life. Now....what is the moral to this story?

Scroll down

The moral is.....

.
.
.
.

If you don't let a woman have her own way....

Things are going to get ugly .

Indian Team After World Cup

2007-05-11T13:38:00.000-07:00

Indian Team After World Cup: Hello Friends, This is just a humorous post. Do not take that I am insulting our Cricket Heros. I got this email from some one... just laughed at it for a moment and thought it is good to share this with people through this blog. I am hurting some one's feelings... I deeply regret that!!

Agarkar

Ganguly
Dhoni
Dravid

Shewag
Yuvaraj
Sachin
Kumble
Uthappa

Useful Alt+Tab Replacement Power Toy (Miscrosoft)

2007-05-11T13:21:00.000-07:00

For those of you who use the Alt+Tab key combination to switch between open windows on your desktop, I am sure you have encountered times when you cannot distinguish one window from the other due to having more than one instance of the same program open.

Microsoft became aware of this draw-back after releasing the XP operating system and subsequently released a "Power Toy" to resolve this issue. The Power Toy resolves this issue by replacing the program icons with actual screenshots of your open windows. This way you can locate exactly which window you wish to switch to, which is immensely useful when navigating between several SAP windows at one time.

Here are pictures of using the Alt+Tab key combination both pre- and post- installation of the Power Toy:

As you can see in the first example above, it is impossible to differentiate between the IE instances and the SAP instances by looking at the icons. In the subsequent example, the screenshot clearly differentiates the windows.

Here are the instructions to install:

-Copy URL to browser: http://download.microsoft.com/download/whistler/Install/2/WXP/EN-US/TaskswitchPowertoySetup.exe

-Choose "Run" from pop-up dialog box
-Choose "Run" a second time, this will kick-off the installation of the Power Toy
-Once you get the "Installation Complete" dialog, the toy is successfully installed. No need to reboot your PC.

10 things God won't ask when you reach heaven......

2007-05-11T13:04:00.000-07:00

Indian e-News Papers- Read online!!

2007-05-09T19:35:00.000-07:00

Indian e News Papers!!

India, with 78.8 million copies daily, stands 2nd in the world. Indian newspapers, published in 18 languages, include not only bi-lingual but tri- lingual publications. This shows how important is the news for the general public in India. . .

The circulation of newspapers in the world increased strongly in last few years. The media statistics of 2004 are as under:

Circulation grew 2.1 percent worldwide in 2004, taking global sales to a new high of 395 million daily.
The total number of daily titles was up 2 percent in the world in 2004 and up 4.6 percent since 2000.
2004 saw the best advertising performance in four years, with a revenue increase of 5.3 percent.
The audience for newspaper web sites grew 32 percent last year and 350 percent over five years.
More than 395 million people buy a newspaper every day, up from 374 million in 1999.
Average readership is estimated to be more than one billion people each day.

Popular news papers of India Online

The Indian news papers e-editions here. You can read politics, weather, sports, movies, important information, warnings, happenings just a click away n your own language you are interested in.

Popular Regional and Local news papers of India Online

The readership of regional/local news papers are also very high in India. Not surprised to see majority of readers don’t take bed coffee/tea with out their favorite news paper in hand. Some of the popular regional/local news papers for your reading.

Hindi	Marathi

Hindi Milap	Loksatta
Naidunia	Sakal
Dainik Jagran	Lokmat
Dainik Bhaskar	Deshonnati
Haribhoomi	Gujarati

Panjabi	Gujarat Samachar

Yugantar Punjab	Akila

Sikh Virsa	Sandesh
Sanjh Savera	Sambhaav
Urdu	Chitralekha

Inquilab	Gurjari
Kannada	Telugu

Udayavani	Eenadu
Sanjevani	VAARTHA
Kannada Prabha	Andhra Prabha
Kranti Daily	Andhra Bhoomi
Bengali	Tamil

Anandabazar Patrika	Dinamani

Malayalam	Thinaboomi

Deshabhimani Daily	Dinamalar
DEEPIKA	Minnambalam
Mathrubhumi	Dinakaran

Malayala Manorama	Aaraamthinai

General Motors Diet Plan- Reduce your weight!

2007-05-09T19:34:00.000-07:00

General Motors Diet Plan

Reduce your weight by using General Motors Diet Plan populary known as GM Diet Plan.

The following diet and health program was developed for employees and dependents of General Motors, Inc. and is intended for their exclusive use. This program was developed in conjunction with a grant from U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Food and Drug Administration. It was field tested at the Johns Hopkins Research Centre and was approved for distribution by the Board of Directors, General Motors Corp. at a general meeting on August 15, 1985. General Motors Corp. wholly endorses this program and is making it available to all employees and families. This program will be available at all General Motors Food Service Facilities. It is management's intention to facilitate a wellness and fitness program for everyone.

This program is designed for a target weight loss of 10-17 lbs per week. It will also improve your attitudes and emotions because of its cleansing systematic effects.

The effectiveness of this seven day plan is that the food eaten burn more calories than they give to the body in caloric value.

This plan can be used as often as you like without any fear of complications. It is designed to flush your system of impurities and give you a feeling of well being. After seven days you will begin to feel lighter because you will be lighter by at least 10 lbs. You will have an abundance of energy and an improved disposition.

During the first seven days you must abstain from all alcohol
You must drink 10 glasses of water each day

Day One All fruits except bananas. Your first day will consist of all the fruits you want. It is strongly suggested that you consume lots of melons the first day. Especially watermelon and a loupe. If you limit your fruit consumption to melons, your chances of losing three lbs. on first day are very good.

Day Two All vegetables. You are encouraged to eat until you are stuffed with all the raw or cooked vegetables of your choice. There is no limit on the amount or type. For your complex carbohydrate, you will start day two with a large baked potato for breakfast. You may top the potato with one pat of butter.

Day Three A mixture of fruits and vegetables of your choice. Any amount, any quantity. No bananas yet. No potatoes today.

Day Four Bananas and milk. Today you will eat as many as eight bananas and drink three glasses of milk. This will be combined with the special soup which may be eaten in limited quantities.

Day Five Today is feast day. You will eat beef and tomatoes. Eat two 10 oz. portions of lean beef. Hamburger is OK. Combine this with six whole tomatoes. On day five you must increase your water intake by one quart. This is to cleanse your system of the uric acid you will be producing.

Day Six Beef and vegetables. Today you may eat an unlimited amount of beef and vegetables. Eat to your hearts content.

Day Seven Today your food intake will consist of brown rice, fruit juices and all the vegetables you care to consume.

Tomorrow morning you will be 10-17 lbs. lighter than one week ago. If you desire further weight loss, repeat the program again. You may repeat this program as often as you like, however, it is suggested that you are allowed two glasses of white wine in addition to the instructions on the program. You may substitute champagne for white wine. Under no circumstances are you to drink any other alcoholic beverages with the exception of beer which is allowed. Any liquor (bourbon,vodka, rum) is forbidden. Cream drinks are especially forbidden. You may have an occasional cordial such as creme de menthe or schnapps, but you must always limit yourself to two drinks. If you wine, drink only wine that day. If you have beer, drink only beer that day, etc. Alcohol adds empty calories to your diet. However, after the first week it will help your digestion and settle your stomach.

G.M.'S Wonder Soup

The following soup is intended as a supplement to your diet. It can be eaten any time of the day in virtually unlimited quantities. You are encouraged to consume large quantities of this soup.

28 oz, Water, 6 Large Onions, 2 Green Peppers, Whole Tomatoes (fresh or canned), 1 Head Cabbage, 1 Bunch Celery, 4 Envelopes Lipton Onion Soup Mix, Herbs and Flavouring as desired.

Additional Comments

Vegetables as may be taken in the form of a salad if desired. No dressing except malt, white or wine vinegar, squeezed lemon, garlic, herbs. No more than one tea spoon of oil.

You have been given a recipe for the WONDER SOUP which can be eaten in unlimited quantities. This soup is a supplement while you are on the program and it should be a pleasure to eat. Not everyone likes cabbage, green peppers, calory etc. This recipe is not inflexible. You may substitute vegetables according to your taste. You may add any vegetables you like: asparagus, peas, corn, turnips, green beans, cauliflower, etc. Try to stay away from beans (lima, pinto, kidney, etc.), however, because they tend to be high in calories even though they are very good for you.

Beverages you may consume while on the program :

Water (flavoured with lemon/lime if desired).
Club Soda is OK.
Black Coffee. No cream or cream substitute. No sugar or sweetness.
Black Tea = Herb or Leaf.
Absolutely nothing else except the fruit juices which are part of day seven. No fruit juices before day seven.
How and Why It Works

Day One you are preparing your system for the upcoming programme. Your only source of nutrition is fresh or canned fruits. Fruits are nature's perfect food. They provide everything you could possibly want to sustain life except total balance and variety.

Day Two starts with a fix of complex carbo-hydrates coupled with an oil dose. This is taken in the morning for energy and balance. The rest of day two consists of vegetables which are virtually calorie free and provide essential nutrients and fibre.

Day Three eliminates the potato because you get your carbohydrates from the fruits. You system is now prepared to start burning excess pounds. You will still have cravings which should start to diminish by day four.

Day Four, bananas, milk and soup sound the strangest and least desirable. You're in for a surprise. You probably will not eat all the bananas allowed. But they are there for the potassium you have lost and the sodium you may have missed the past three days. You will notice a definite loss of desire for sweets. You will be surprised how easy this day will go.

Sardar Jokes---- Have fun!

2007-05-09T10:05:00.000-07:00

Lecturer : Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti.
Sardar : Gandhi was a great man but maa kasam,
I dont know who is Jayanti.

---------------------------------------------------
Sardar : You cheated me.
Shopkeeper: How ?
Sardar : YOu said this is American made radio.
But when I put it ON, it says All India Radio.
---------------------------------------------------
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor
asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket
and said April fool. I have pass.
---------------------------------------------------
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening
on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

---------------------------------------------------

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

---------------------------------------------------
Doctor to patient : YOu will die within 2 hours.
Do you want to see any one before you die.
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

---------------------------------------------------
Two sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

---------------------------------------------------
Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
Sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.
---------------------------------------------------
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
Sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
---------------------------------------------------
Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.
Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

---------------------------------------------------
Boss : Where were you born ?
Sardar : Punjab .
Boss : which part ?
Sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
---------------------------------------------------
American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.
---------------------------------------------------

Some more Sardar jokes will follow... keep checking!!

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.

Friendship - Stone Vs Sand

2007-05-08T13:45:00.000-07:00

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING
THROUGH THE DESERT.
DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE.

THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH ..

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE ".

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?"

THE FRIEND REPLIED
"WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.
BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT."

LEARN TO WRITE
YOUR HURTS IN
THE SAND AND TO
CARVE YOUR
BENEFITS IN STONE.

THEY SAY IT TAKES A
MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL
PERSON, AN HOUR TO
APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY
TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN
AN ENTIRE LIFE
TO FORGET THEM.

SEND THIS PHRASE TO
THE PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER
FORGET. I JUST DID.

IF YOU DON'T
SEND IT TO ANYONE,
IT MEANS YOU'RE IN A
HURRY AND THAT YOU'VE
FORGOTTEN YOUR FRIENDS.
TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE!

DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS
YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE
WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE

New element in periodic table!!!! - Women!

2007-05-08T13:40:00.000-07:00

Scientists are now thinking to include this new
element in to the periodic table which has so many
properties. so they are thinking to create a new block
for it!

NEW ELEMENT IN THE PERIODIC TABLE

Element : WOMEN

Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary
from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

1. Have great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of
precious stones and absorbs great
quantities of expensive substances.
2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and
for no known reason. 3. Insoluble in liquids, but
activity greatly increases by that. 4. Most powerful
money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARD

illegal to possess more than one, although several can
be maintained at different locations as long as
specimens do not come in direct contact with each
other. !!

WARNING !! PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS
ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HAEMORRHAGING AND
MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS

A touching Story! - Innovative Advertisement!

2007-05-08T13:37:00.000-07:00

TOUCHING STORY.................. PLEASE SPEND 10 MINS TO READ THIS......

This is a true story of a young college girl who passed away last month. Her name was Priya. She was hit by a Truck. She has a boy friend named Shankar. Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the phone. You can never see her without her handphone. In fact she also changed her phone from Airtel to Hutch, so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost.
She spends half of the day talking with shankar. Priya's family knows about their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family. (just imagine their love) . Before she passed away she always told her friends "If I pass away please burn me with my handphone" she also said the same thing to her parents.
After her death, people cant carry her coffin, I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still cant , everybody including me, had tried to carry the coffin, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called their neighbour, a "bomoh" from Thailand (pak Darin), who is a friend of her father. He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here". then her friends told Darin about her intentions to burn her with her phone. He then opened the coffin and place her phone and SIM card inside the casket. after that they tried to carry the coffin. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked. (can u feel the fear. I'm shaking at this moment)
Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away. After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom. Shankar :...."Atte, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Dont tell Priya that I'm coming home today, i wanna surprise her." Her mother replied....."You come home first, i wanna tell you something very important." after he came, they told him the truth about Priya.
Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "dont try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her Please stop this nonsense". then they show him the original death certificate to him. They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat) ..
He said... "Its not true. we spoke yesterday. She still calls me. Shankar was shaking. Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is from Priya, see this..." he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to answer.he talked using the loudspeaker mode. all of them heard his conversation.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her SIM card since it is nailed inside the coffin they were so shocked and asked for pak Darin's help again. pak Darin brought his master (tok Chen) to solve this matter. He & Darin worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing...

HUTCH has the best coverage :)
Wherever you go, our network follows!!!!

kids in school think quick - Jokes!!

2007-05-08T09:20:00.000-07:00

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!
___________________________________________
TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." ___________________________________________
TEACHER : John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables! ___________________________________________

TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! ___________________________________________

TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O! ____________________________________________
TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today
that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
___________________________________________
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. ___________________________________________

TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." ___________________________________________

TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day,
same time."
___________________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?" LOUIS : Because George still had the axe in his hand. ___________________________________________

TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ___________________________________________

TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!; ___________________________________________

TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD : A teacher.

___________________________________________

Hope enjoyed reading these jokes!!! have funnnnnn.....

Top 8 Funniest News paper Classifieds

2007-05-08T09:16:00.000-07:00

(Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers)

1. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
(man....if only I knew A B C....)

2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you'll never go anywhere again.
(sure...thanx for the warning!)

3. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
(in months or years?)

4. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
(check it out)

5. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
(howwww sweeeet)

6. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
(wow! A free trip to heaven?)

7. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
(hey....who taught cows the bad habit??)

8. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
(nice work!)

Enjoy reading Blog!

I bet you can not do it!! A simple thing... try it out!!

2007-05-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

An Indian discovered that nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere on the computer which can be named as "CON". This is something pretty cool...and unbelievable...

At Microsoft the whole Team, couldn't answer why this happened!

TRY IT NOW ,IT WILL NOT CREATE " CON " FOLDER

THE BEST E-MAIL OF THE YEAR !!!!! (HA.HA.HA)

2007-05-08T09:11:00.000-07:00

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint. The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

Voted Women's Favorite E-mail of the Year ! if you agree, send it to all your friends who would enjoy this I just did !

The consequence of not applying the golden rule

2007-05-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

The consequence of not applying the golden rule : Always Ladies First?

Enjoy reading blog.....!!

Difference between A car launch and a truck launch

2007-05-07T20:46:00.000-07:00

Difference between A car launch and a truck launch

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Best Winter Photos!

2007-05-07T20:41:00.000-07:00

Best Winter Pics!! Winter at Its BEST!

Driving Styles of the World!!

2007-05-07T20:23:00.000-07:00

Driving Styles ...
One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window.
- Sydney

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn
- Japan

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on newspaper,
foot solidly on accelerator...
- Boston

Both hands on steering wheel, eyes shut, both feet on
brake, quivering in terror
- New York

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on
accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back
seat
- Italy

One hand on horn,
one hand on holding gear,
one ear listening to loud music,
one ear on cell phone,
one foot on accelerator,
one foot on clutch,
nothing on break,
eyes on females in next car!!

- Welcome to INDIA!

MAGICIAN OF SKIN- Body Peircing

2007-05-06T20:37:00.000-07:00

Are we really taking care of Old Parents??

2007-05-06T13:21:00.000-07:00

An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45

years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The Father asked his Son, "What is this?"

The Son replied "It is a crow".

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"

The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time,

What is this?"

At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when

he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow, a crow".

A little after, the Father again asked his Son the 4th time, "What is this?"

This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same

question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A

CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old

tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a

page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the

following words were written in the diary :-

"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow

was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I

replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each

time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not

at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".

While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had

felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when

today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt

irritated and annoyed.

So..

If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a

burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and

kind to them. Be considerate to your parents. From today say this aloud, "I

want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I

was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me.

They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to

make me a person presentable in the society today".

Say a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will

say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave."

Funny advertisements- Girls seking Guys

2007-05-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

This is Ultimate.................I bet u can't stop laughing.

These are Girls profiles taken from shaadi.com These are actual ads on

a matrimony site. Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a

profile description as everything is straight from the heart!

Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar

after reading this mail...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,If

any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good

education but i working all field in bangalore .. if u like me u

welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident

or send u letter..

Thanks

yours Regards Sowmya ~*~

(Truly yours)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state

she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework

(Wut Homework?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I

love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love.

I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i

love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on

........hold my hand forever !!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i am simple girl. I have lot of problemin my life because of my

lucknow i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot

(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but

while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast

(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO

LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL

MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY

THEY ARE

1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.

2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION

3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing {laughing})

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone

groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he

would be called the man of the lamp

(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)

Infact she doesn ?t know wat she wants ?.. ? A LAMP ? ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I

love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok

(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is

suffering from "Ok-syndrome")

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father &

mother sister completely married

(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married

'completely'?)

( Confused ????? )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me

pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(height of desperation! J )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.

(No comments)

(Plz ? for gods sake ask somebody ?s help in framing sentence )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily.

i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'. i expect the

good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other

caste accepted ...

(but credit cards not accepted..???)

(Perhaps Debit Cards accepted ?.. Clean Habit s??????? Is there

anything like that.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social

service.

(Zebra..???)

(Gosh!!!!!!!! she knows her heart color)

Testing... testing the blog!

2007-05-05T11:29:00.001-07:00

Testing... testing the blog!